Episode 2: Chris Pratt
previously on Not My Body
Aliens from another world have been around longer than we have known and maybe even before human kind. They’ve been in hiding. Watching us from right underneath our noses and we’ve been blind the whole time. Their camouflage is slowly becoming distinguishable and they are coming out to confess their presence to the world. This is Not My Body: Alien Confessions.
“Hey, buddy.” My dad set a bag of groceries on the counter and looked over at the television I was looking at. Of course, it wasn’t really me looking at the television, it was whatever was inside of Kevin, now controlling my body.
On the second installment of this curious series, we are going to get a sneak peak at another hidden creature, hiding inside of Chris Pratt since the end of Parks and Recreation, a popular political comedy T.V. sitcom.
“What are you watching?” My dad asked, leaning over the back of the sofa. The screen was suddenly rushed with color as a montage of photo shoots appeared, each of them starring the delicious celebrity.
“Oh, just some stupid television show. Can you believe these aliens? Coming out of hiding and exposing themselves like this, it’s stupid.” He munched on some Twizzlers which tasted like they were a little old. I had previously tried to gain control of my body, but he managed to block me out, listening to me only when he needed to. My dad patted my shoulder and went back into the kitchen to put away groceries. I tried screaming again, doing this occasionally just to see if he was listening. Still nothing.
“So when you approached us, you said that you’ve been inside of his body since the end of his time on Parks and Rec?”
Kevin used my mouth to munch on another Twizzler as the camera switched to look at Chris who was sitting in one of those director’s chairs.
“Um, yeah, kind of. I actually took over his body when he started to get beefier. I guess I should say “I” instead of him. My species is of a reptile, we look kind of like a humanoid Triceratops. Rough skin and horns. When I bonded with his body, the fat sort of transformed into muscle, taking on my own figure underneath his skin. It was the only way I would fit. I had no idea that it was going to help his career and ultimately help me blend in successfully. All people cared about was the muscle.”
The screen went back to another photo shoot, this one outside as his voice continued over the images. A green shirt was hugging Chris’ tight body and I could feel myself getting turned on. Kevin ignored it. The cameras took us inside of his house, where we got to explore his living space. It was kind of like MTV’s Cribs, only the focus was on how an alien was living as a human being. Most of it was the same, which is why he blended in so well with society, which lead to a relatively boring episode. Up until they asked the question they were going to always ask.
“Can we get a look at you outside of the body.”
Chris looked at the camera directly and then opened his mouth. The Triceratops alien climbed out of his body, a chubby suit falling to the floor as the creature stretched.
“I haven’t been out of him in a long time.”
Kevin switched off the television set, rolling his eyes as he stomped up to my room. My dad shook his head as he started to make dinner. He closed the door and looked at me in the mirror.
“Look, I need to blend in for a while and I am going to need an ally to do so.” He tapped on the glass reflection.
“What am I going to do?” I asked, finally able to speak with my voice.
“I am going to transfer inside of your dad. Don’t worry, he won’t get hurt. He’ll just be like the old Kevin when I leave him. He’ll have no memory of whatever happened other than the stuff that I want him to remember.” He nodded, waiting for my approval. I didn’t really have another choice, he was probably going to take over my dad anyways.
“Okay.” I was shut up again, trying to speak and saying nothing. I could only watch as Kevin walked downstairs to my dad, tapped him on the shoulder and opened my mouth. I could feel his tentacles as he pulled himself out of my throat, disappearing down my father’s. I was awake the moment he left, gaining control of all my senses and watching my dad convulse as he lost control. When he opened his eyes, the alien was in control. He flicked on the television set and a pre-recorded message came on, finishing the episode of Not My Body.
“If you or anyone you know wants to come out of hiding, please call this number. We’re here for you.”
“They need to stop coming out of hiding. The show is a trap, don’t you see?” He pointed at the screen, “They come to the show thinking that they are going to get protection just because they possessed a celebrity and came out of the alien closet on television. After each episode, they were probably detained and dissected. If they keep coming out, eventually they will be looking for us in less popular areas such as this lovely home. Do you want feds up in here, taking apart your body and your father’s?” He was waiting for an answer.
“No.”
“I didn’t think so.” He turned the television off, “I need to blend in for now while I try to contact someone. I won’t hurt you or your father, but I need to stay in him long enough to get back into Kevin or something.” He went back into the kitchen to keep making dinner, “It’ll be like I was never here.” He suddenly switched attitude, his whole face changing, pretending to be my dad.
“Wait, why did you possess me?” I asked.
His face changed again, “I wanted to see if you knew you weren’t human.”
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