I was doodling in the margins of my notes, ignoring the words I wrote down except for one inside of a rectangle with slashes around it. Connected. The tip of my pencil traced the word and bolding it, the force of the tip of my pencil leaving a reminder on the pages below it. I was listening to Mr. Pembrooks in the background, unable to stop thinking about what happened in Skills and then the unfortunate sight of Kate making out with him.
The bell finally rang, cuing everyone to quickly gather their things and scurry out of the classroom before our instructor had the opportunity to assign us additional homework. When I walked out into the hall I was met by Shane holding a slice of pizza from Pizza Binge, one of the restaurants on campus. The thing about this property was that it was huge. The intake of students was coming from a large portion of the surrounding area with some even coming in from beyond that due to legacy parents. Pizza Binge, Cafetorium 67, and Divide Diner were the most popular of the edible options on campus. Café Coalesce was my personal favorite due to its proximity to my dorm and it's also got a pretty good brew.
"Hey, Grayson." Shane smiled.
"Oh! Hey!" I pulled the strap of my shoulder bag closer to my neck to prevent it from slipping off. The fall I incurred by the soccer field caused a slight tear where the strap met the bag.
"We should get together and practice some time. I also think we should talk about something. It's about that day and what happen-" his attention was stolen by something over my shoulder and I turned to catch Kate storming down the hallway.
"Yeah, text me, let me know when and where." I half smiled and removed myself from Kate's line of sight. As I walked away, I heard the slices of pizza hit the ground and turned to see Kate practically eating his face while he held out his arms. He was almost reluctant to put his hands on her waist, but he let it happen.
I pulled open the camera on my phone as I walked through the open door of Café Coalesce to look at the bruise that was forming on my forehead, my finger circling the deep purple shape under my skin. The line was short, one person ahead of me was finishing up their order just in time for me to step right up and get my usual.
"Can I get a small coffee and the pesto sadwich?" I smiled at the fellow student behind the counter. I scanned my student ID card on the machine in front of me and then slid it back into my wallet once the transaction was complete.
In the corner of the coffee shop, below a printed stock photo of steam rising from a mug, I nestled myself comfortably in the two seater table. These long breaks between classes were a perfect time for resting and for some it was the only time they had left to finish their homework from the night before.
"You know, I always see you come in here and I don't ever really say hi to you or anything. We just have this silent friendship. Anyways, I thought I would break the ice by bringing over your sandwich and coffee and annoying you while I take a break. I upsized it just for you." She winked and sat down across from me. "My name is Catherine and, well, you already know I work here."
"I'm Grayson. I live above this place. Probably shouldn't tell you that, you might be a stalker." I smiled before taking a tip of the coffee. She knew how I liked it.
"Careful, I could just poison your coffee." We both awkwardly laughed, but it was endearing how much she was trying. "Plus, you're right. I've always wondered what it would be like to appear outside a window in the middle of the night while getting soaking wet from the rain and the lightning jump scaring my silhouette. It'll be kind of hard doing that here though since you're, what, five floors up? I guess I could rent a lift." She smiled and we both had a genuine laugh this time.
"Are you a student here?" I asked. Sometimes this was a touchy subject. Most of the employees in the dining areas were either students who were working to come to the school or parents of students who lived close by allowing their child to become automatically enrolled.
"Uh, no. I go to college downtown and I work here to help pay the bills for my family and my student fees. Shit is getting crazy expensive nowadays. It's really so my mom doesn't have to worry about anything while I get my diploma and I get to make sure my little sister has a meal to eat each night. My mom is a single parent so I help out as much as I can." I offered her the other half of my sandwich as she spoke and she ripped off a small piece and popped it in her mouth.
"Oh? You go to Center State? That's cool."
"You don't have to pretend. I'm a Vacant, it doesn't bother me." She took a big bite of the sandwich. Center State was a college only for Vacants. In the early stages of childhood, we all got checked for our abilities and they have been able to run tests to see what category we all fall in. Some people dislike Vacants greatly, but really they are just like the rest of us.
"Cool." I kept a smile on my face thinking it might let her know it wasn't going to change my opinion of her. Her eyes lit up and she took the final bite of the sandwich before returning back to the counter to greet a customer who had come in. I finished up my work and needed to get back to classes so I gathered up my things and heard the bag rip the slightest amount as I slung it over my shoulder.
"We should go out tonight! I don't know if you like dancing, but I'll be waiting outside when get off at eight!" She made the customer jump as she yelled at me from across the shop, catching my attention before I left. "I know where you live!" We both smiled at each other and I nodded.
As I walked to class, admiring the campus and how technologically advanced it had gotten since I saw pictures of it my freshman year of high school, Shane stopped me. He grabbed my arm as I turned a corner and pulled me back into the shade of a building like some awkward drug deal.
"So, sorry about that, I'm trying to hide from Kate. She's been all over me recently and I don't know why." Shane's eyes darted to make sure the coast was clear.
"If you don't like it why don't you just tell her?" I crossed my arms.
"It's not that easy. Anyways, I wanted to talk about getting together to study, how is Saturday? We can meet at my place and use my dad's practice room. He won't mind." Shane looked over my shoulder again as a group of students walked by.
"You're not going to be hanging around with Kate?" My arms remained crossed.
"We can talk more about it then. What do you say?"
"That actually sounds great." I let myself relax and he lit up.
"Saturday lunchtime? I'll have a spread just for us."
"Works for me." I think I was blushing, but I was interrupted by the sound of clomping heels on the bricked pathway.
"Gotta go." He walked in the opposite direction and I turned the corner just in time to meet Kate who was angry faced and a little sweaty from emitting so much heat.
"Have you seen Shane? I know you two are partners." She crossed her arms.
"The last time I saw him he was in the Cafeteorium meeting someone for tutoring or something. You should loosen your grip before you lose him, you know." I slid by her, but she grabbed my arm and pushed me up against the wall with a strength I was not expecting.
"Listen you little shit. Shane is mine and if you think that just because you can get inside him means you are going to get with me then you have another thing coming." She was so upset she was spitting.
"I litteraly want nothing less than to be with you." I took my arm away, surprising her. To be honest I surprised myself. She huffed, but I could tell the gears were turning in her head and she managed to get one last dig in before I was returning to my schedule.
"Faggot." I heard her clomping recede and leaned against the wall to check in with myself.
Classes for the rest of the day went by quickly. Chemistry II was a breeze, Advanced Drawing let out early which game me a chance to have a break before heading to my gym class. I was oddly looking forward to it since I could watch Shane practice in the adjacent field. I did, however, catch myself as my mind flicked back to the conversation I had with Catherine about being a stalker. It was just hard to look away.
"Are you ready? I know it's like the middle of the week, but this place is always busy." Catherine had already locked up shop and I was able to change into something more club-appropriate. Catherine had her own quick change having already planned on going out without me. I was hesitant to even come, but something about that day made me feel courageous.
"Definitely." She escorted me to her car which her mother dropped off after work with the expectation that we would not be drinking. It smelled like paper and spilled coffee which I assumed was because of Catherine, the carpet becoming a casualty to her job. The club we arrived at was called The Flamingo and a giant pink flamingo was outlined in neon above the door. I had wanted to come here for a while, but never thought I would have fun. It was one of the hottest gay night clubs in town and I felt even more reassured with Catherine being the one to make me go with her.
"I know you don't like women so I figured I would sacrifice my vices for yours. Most of the dancers here are Possessions looking for a good time just be careful if that is your thing." She paid both of our cover charge.
"How do you know I'm a Possessor?"
"Please, I hear about everything on campus. I work in a coffee shop. Listen, if a Possession is on something it will be hard to leave them and will fuck you up in the morning." A curtain was drawn back for us and I was blinded by the moving lights and lit up dance floor. Remixed drag hits were playing and the crowd jumped as the air vibrated from the bass. Drinks clinked together by other people closing out their week and I was dragged onto the dance floor through the grinding bodies until we found a pocket of space. Catherine took my hand and was guiding me on how to dance since it looked relatively obvious that I did not do this that often. I felt hands slide across me from behind and I spun around to hungry eyes. It was like they knew. Our hands rose above our heads and Catherine moved fluidly in front of me as I jerked around awkwardly. Eventually, Catherine pulled me in and offered me a drink.
"Thanks for coming!" She said into my ear as we leaned against the bar. She ordered for us, the fruity cocktails slipping across the counter and she paid with cash, taking the bartender by surprise.
"No problem!" Glad I could! I haven't really done anything like this before!" I sipped my drink and turned my head toward the crowd. There was a guy on one of the poles, dancing in a pair of gym shorts, knee high socks, and sneakers. Two black lines were smeared horizontally on his face.
I was enthralled by his movements, the theme of the whole tease being detention but also gym class? It really didn't matter because I was finding myself getting pulled over by Catherine who could tell I was enjoying the show. Catherine also noticed that this dancer had been watching me sine we walked through the curtains.
"What do you think?" Catherine asked.
"I think he's hot."
"I think he likes you too." As she said this, he picked up the apple and tossed it in my direction. I caught it with one hand, still in shock as he winked and returned to his routine.
I got swept up in the moment and then suddenly he was finished, everyone returning to the dance floor. Catherine only had one drink and I was given the go ahead to get another. It all got to my head and suddenly I felt like my head was dangling as I was dancing, bobbing around to the beat without any control. Then I felt a hand take me away. Catherine disappeared in the sea of people and I was pushed into a corner of the club looking directly at the dancer.
"I want you inside of me." He said, pushing my hand onto his chest. Catherine's words echoed inside of my head and I was suddenly thinking about Shane. Would he know if I jumped inside of him for the night? Should I? How would I feel after? The longer I hesitated the more anxious I became. I looked up at him with a tilted smile and as the light flashed on his eyes I could see how dilated they were.
"Dude, tell me now or jump the fuck inside." He grabbed my wrist and tugged me closer to him. I pulled away but couldn't seem to escape completely. He was strong and his laugh echoed inside of my head as the alcohol slurred my speech. That was I could hear as he tried shoving my hands inside of his chest. I felt the music beating to the bass of the music when I snapped back and saw a hand grab the dancer.
"Let him go or deal with me. Your choice." I was staring at Shane as he rescued me and the guy disappeared in the crowd to look for another potential victim. Shane was sweaty in a tight fitted tank top and I tilted my head as the signals connected in my brain. He had been here longer than I had.
"Thought you would use a little assitance." Shane checked in on me, making sure I wasn't injured.
"What are you doing here?" I was slurring slightly.
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Should we go somewhere quieter?" Before I could even answer I was being guided back towards the main entrance. The bouncers gave us a smirk as we passed by, Shane's hand firmly holding mine. The moment we got outside I felt the cool air against my face and closed my eyes for a second. It was nice to just feel. My moment was interrupted by Shane pushing me against the wall and kissed me.
"What was that?" I had a very surprised look on my face when he pulled away from me.
"Part of me just wants to lie and say that I'm here with Kate except that would be a lie. I just feel safe around you, you know? Like I can be myself and ever since that first day of class I have been having this weird feeling. I don't know. Well, I guess I have always known I just never wanted to admit it to myself. I think I'm - " I interrupted his rambling by pulling him into me and kissing him again, surprising us both. He pulled away and stared at me with his fingers on his lip and when I thought he might leave me standing there in the cool night air alone and embarrassed, he pressed his hands against the wall and started making out with me. It felt lustful, like his energy had been pent up and this was his moment to release it all.
"Hey, do this somewhere else." The bouncer yelled from the door the moment Shane started pushing his bulge into my own. Shane pulled away with a smile on his face I had never seen before; a real one. He took my hand once more and pulled me farther down the street to escape the yells coming from the bouncer. We eventually caught our breath making it all the way back to campus, his hand still wrapped around mine.
"Don't forget we're meeting on Saturday to practice. We should probably not tell anyone about this yet. Most of all Kate." Shane didn't seem like he wanted to let go of my hand.
"Why would I do that?" I responded.
"I don't know. I just want to make sure we're doing this right." He pecked me on the cheek. "Goodnight, Grayson." I watched him walk away, staring as the breeze made my skin tingle. The moment I stepped onto campuse property I threw up and the only thing I could think about was how happy I was Shane didn't see me vomit. I hid in the shadows on the way back to my dorm, stopping to take a breath whenever I felt naseuous. A shower washed away the bad memories of the night and as I stared at the ceiling in my bed I couldn't help but think about how I felt as he pressed into me against that brick wall.
A pure connection.
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